I am trying to not do the behaviors that are motivated by the desire to be a somebody. So when I get home from work and feel “I should get to the computer and do some of my real work” I now don’t act on it. To a large degree I have been pushing myself to make up for the sacrificed time that making a living requires. I’m curious to see what kind of living results from not having to push myself to get to work during my leisure time.
So far, there’s a feeling of relief and a feeling of exasperation and fear at my giving up the only thing that means anything – being a somebody.